Trigger Warning: Abuse

     There is four types of abuse. Mental, Psychical, Rape, Emotional. Those four are what can drive a person to pure rage, sorrow, depression, suicide, body harming. It sucks when you have dealt with all four and you can't control it. It a topic that gets pushed away a lot because no one wants to talk about it. but for me? I have been through all four types of abuse in different area of my life.

    Lets first start with mental abuse. the mental abuse can be the rough one and struggle with the most because it does mess with your self esteem later on in life or just in time of your life. I was always bulled at school and times online as well. been told to kill myself, I am fat bitch, I am worthless and many more. But I use to want to go kill myself and just end it all because I was so done with it. But after a while I learned something. They can say what they want. believe the lies that was told about me and I learned that best thing to do. Stare at them with your head up high and speak in strong tone. "I am stronger. I am not your bitch. Leave me alone because I will never be what you want me to be!" it hardest trick to do but it is something you can do to prove to everyone that your not there mental punching bag. I went through a very hard time of mental abuse. I had someone always threaten to kill themselves. every single day. It got to point that it effected me so mentally that I shut down and let him hurt me in any which way he wanted. Day I broke shit off with him, he said he was gonna go kill himself and he will make sure I will go to jail for it. I called cops instantly on him and blocked him from my life forever. I never regret that day ever. Because I became stronger, I learned to help others who want to do same or I just walk away from people who say it to much because I learned that I can't be around that type of life style without drop into a serious bad depression.

    Second lets start with Psychical abuse, this one rough because this one does deal a lot with your own self image. This one is always been hardest to talk about along with mental abuse and rape because you never know what gonna happen if you expose yourself, I have seen it first hand and dealt with it as well. When your get beaten, cut, straight up attacked for no reason. Then person turns around and apologize for attacking you. They usually mean it or times they don't but still doesn't help at all. but if your deal with a loved one who constantly beats you or someone you know all the time. they cover up there arms, legs with long stuff even middle of summer. it best to ask them what's going on because you never know what's going on with that one person. They could be getting abused without you know it or simple touch makes them skittish from you. means there is a lot of damage going on inside that person body or mental health. because mental abuse can turn to physical abuse as well. You should always never judge people on there looks because they may be hiding something.

    Third lets start with Emotional abuse which mix in with all four topics because emotional abuse can come from well anything really. but the main cause of it comes from trauma that you been facing because it does effect people hard. losing a love one is the most common way to feel emotional abuse or just people always telling you that your feelings are not worth the time or effort of others. You shouldn't let anyone tell you that because your feelings are part of who you are. But worst is when your in relationship and they make you only care about there feelings which starts to mess with your own because then you have no idea what to feel. Which is something that isn't right because you have every right to feel what you want to feel. If you have those bad days where you want to give up because your emotions are always going crazy. don't be afraid to reach out to anyone to ask them for help because there always people who know what it like to feel emotional abused or drained out. never worry about what you think people are gonna say about your emotions because you are your own person. have every right to feel what you wanna feel.

    Fourth lets start with Rape. This topic bit rougher then all rest combine because rape is something that no one. I mean NO one wants to talk about because it the worst of the worst and no matter what. You have to deal with agony of know what happen to you. always wondering if someone later on in life will love you later on in life because of what happen to you. People treat you differently either as the victim or the one who wanted the force sex. It something this world doesn't understand at all. Rape is something no one wants at all because your getting place in situation that is not something pleasant and full of pain and misery as well. It effects you mentally, emotionally, physically. Rape is worst thing can happen to anyone. doesn't matter what anyone says because your body is getting used and abused. It feels like gross and just not right after the whole thing. Times people can never escape the rape because of how there family life is. but never be afraid to reach out to anyone. a cop, school councilor anyone who you feel will help you and that you trust. I know it not easy to deal with. I should know. I have had to help many people with it and been sexual assaulted and rape myself. Never forget that you ain't alone in all of this. There more to everyone story then you realize.

Facts I learned when I googled.

Hotline receives over 27,000 calls for help. And each year, over 10 million Americans are subjected to psychological and physical abuse from people they love and trust the most. But while the numbers are staggering, they don't tell the whole story. On average, there are 463,634 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.

People to reach out to

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline: 1-800-662-4357.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.

Samaritans: 1-877-870-4673.

National Hotline Network: 1-800-442-4673.

Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255.

Crimson Scarlett Sign off

5/30/2022

Note: this was most brutal one to write so please understand if I don't post blogs for a while...I was battle horrible anxiety and depression while doing this....